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  • Writer's pictureHall of Gains and Hypertrophy Podcast

HGH #47: Mental Resilience


00:00.00

christophknoll

All right? We are back and we're gonna be doing another episode on something that we have chatted about a little bit before but we've been doing a little bit of a different angle on it. But as always I'm christoph Paul Paul's here too kind of.

00:14.74

Paul

Know yeah, we're what we're both here this week welcome back guys. Thanks for listening. Um, we've talked about in particular mental health in the past. Um actually let me turn on my microphone here a little bit there. We go. Um, so we've talked about mental health in the past and something to I wanted. You know we wanted to address this week was like how as far as mental health goes. What are our strategies or what. Have we seen people do in order to get through um transition and plans. Um, you know going in the direction because you can't put on muscle and take off fat necessarily at the same time. Ah, there are ways to do it. You know illegally but legally and naturally. There's no way to do it so going from 1 way of putting on fat and putting on muscle and then going in the direction of taking off fat but also losing some muscle How do you swap from. 1 mentally to the other mentally is an issue a lot of guys' face and a lot of women face as well because there's always a relationship there between ah you know seeing progress in the direction that you want to go in but then having to switch it because you.

01:43.79

Paul

Gone far enough or you needed a change of the plan something like that and and this kind of originated from. Ah you know me coming out of prep me coming out of um, hitting shows to now putting on weight and putting on size. Which is fun and I'm liking the food I'm liking the training and all of that. But it is hard seeing definition disappear over time and know gaining some fat and all of that I'm I haven't gain a ton but it's hard going from. You know? ah. You know striations and veins and stuff like that to less and less veins less and less triations. Ah, and especially for me more so ah, more fat covering up my midsection and you know more so fat coming into my my love handles. For me my legs and my arms have held definition. But it's really hard for me to watch like especially my ab veins disappear and ah, you know the definition they're kind of going away so you know it did take a lot for me to mentally swat from prep. Because I was in prep mode for like three months straight so swapping from prep mode into like bulk mode or like rebound mode in order to kind of accept that I'm going to lose not yeah I'm going to lose a definition and gain some fat. It's going to happen so we want to talk about like.

03:05.94

Paul

How do you swap mentally like that and ah, you know what you know Chrisof might you know keep in mind when he's you know, potentially changing plans one day when he cuts and then when you know I'm putting on size and then how do I swap from.

03:21.67

Paul

Like even when you're putting on size. You're getting strong. You're putting on size. You're getting bigger by the day your clothes are getting smaller then how do you swap from that to losing fat losing muscle your strength goes down your numbers. Go down, you're feeling sloggish. You're feeling hungry like how do you swap to that as well. It's it's. It's difficult both ways. So you know I think it'd be a good conversation today about you know what we use and what we've seen other people use as far as strategies and kind of addressing those and kind of going from. There is kind of the idea today.

03:52.85

christophknoll

Yeah, and then for those who don't know I'm also coming off yet another injury. So I'm going to talk a little bit about the mental side of how to you know, keep yourself not motivated isn't the word because we're motivated like 2% of the time now. But.

03:59.71

Paul

Yeah.

04:10.24

Paul

Here.

04:11.68

christophknoll

Ah, keeping yourself disciplined through through the through the problems and then also making sure that you you know, stay in the gym because it's very easy to just not be in the gym or if you're not in the gym finding ways to stay active when you're at home or whatever so we'll touch on a couple different things. Um. Paul with you're leaving leaving prep and going into more of your size gaining. What's your current weight and what's your like estimated goal for this bulk because you're on the you're on a bulk for like a little under a year right.

04:47.46

Paul

Yeah, essentially the plan is putting on size for a year that's just what coach said whether or not that means we're going to hit a show summer next year I'm not sure my prediction is um, an eight week rebound which would be from. Be about till middle of October roughly. Um, so we're today. We'd be We're just about six weeks out from that roughly and then so so two weeks ago as my show six weeks from now would be eight weeks from the show so roughly six weeks from now um is what we're going to stop the rebound. We're gonna do. Probably a four week pct postcycl therapy just because we've been on pretty hard anabolics is I mean not a lot but you know we've been on it for for about a year now by the time I hit this pct so be good to clean out. Um, it's gonna suck. Um. In pct I'm fine during pct. But then afterwards it sucks. Um because you're so used to feeling enhanced. You know you're used to feeling like literallyter like a superhuman that going back to normal feels like shit. Um, so after pct probably like. My guess is like six weeks off just cleaning out being clean and then getting into a blast from probably 3 three months maybe four months at the most and then getting into another prep is my guess. So realistically I think kind of where I'm seeing this going is like.

06:15.64

Paul

Starting my blast like middle to end of December probably and then that's when we're really put on some size and then three four months from there is probably when we will pull back and start a prep for next show. So we'll see um. But yeah, the goal is really just size right now and we're in rebound phase right now. So like I'm absorbing basically everything I take in um, the week after the show. So last wait weigh in was last Saturday so I'm weighing on Saturdays now now that we're in rebound is it's not imperative that I do weigh-ins every day or couple times a week or whatever it is. So we do once a week weigh-ins now and last Saturday I was um, one ninety one point five or something like that I think and then ah this week I think I was one ninety two point three so I'm up like point £7.8 so I put on a lot of water and a lot of weight right away because I'm so depleted and now we're we're going in the direction that we want to go in you know, point £7.8 a week is is. is pretty good considering that I'm not putting on a ton of fat or water anymore and especially based off my arms and my legs I'm holding definition pretty well and I still got all of my abs. Um, it's just not as defined as it was before so that's kind of where we're at now.

07:38.76

Paul

Um, and that's the plan for the next year or so is just putting on size ultimately because that's that's my biggest critique from the judges besides conditioning. It's just I need to I need to build a bigger back is really my biggest focus I think for this rebound for for this bulk is my back.

07:50.64

christophknoll

Yeah, so weights kind of on the secondary. It's more so just overall size.

07:55.80

Paul

Yeah I mean the weight scale. Yes, it plays a role in the grain scheme of things because it's not going to matter as much going from like way into weigh in it's more about like okay the past eight weeks for the rebound. We've gone from this weight to this weight. This is the photos. We've done from the beginning to the end. It's like the bigger picture. Um, that's more so. What the weight does the photos is more so what matters um with every single way in same with the show like more so the photos than anything and most so how you're looking the mirror is really what matters. So. And the grand scheme of things. Ideally I want to gain like as little amount of weight per week while taking it as much food as possible and the reason I say that is because whatever weight I do put on if I'm gaining a little bit of weight would be ideally muscle and then keeping fat. Relatively low or potentially even losing fat at certain periods would be great that way we can keep conditioning pretty low or pretty good and then building muscle alongside that so that way when we start my prep next year I'll be in a good conditioning spot. To be ready for a prep where we don't have to push it super hard. You know we got twelve solid weeks to just kind of slowly deficit our way down. You know, slowly increase cardio and then you know push it for like 2 to three weeks at the end and then crush the ah the the show you know like that's the goal right now. So really It's just the mirror the photos. That's that's.

09:27.94

Paul

Ultimately at the end of the day and and I could see this eyes getting put on you know I'm a lot bigger now than I was ready for my show and I'm all more full So that's something weird to me I'm so used to being flat. It's weird feeling full.

09:40.40

christophknoll

Yeah, and I was going to say like for this first little bit like yeah, it's going to suck losing the definition and losing what you're used to seeing but I think that give like a month or 2 and seeing the size build back in and filling out all your clothes again. I think that's really going to you know change the mindset on this.

09:56.86

Paul

yeah ah yeah I mean that's kind of where I'm at now like I've seen guys like ah so there is so this is kind of what I wanted to talk about was like it was so fucking hard to put in so much effort and. Put on you know so much stress and so much stress on my family and so much you know effort in the gym and cardio and food and all of that to then start seeing the definition going away and inclitations the effort and all the work going away. Um, that was really hard for me for the first like probably ten days after the show. Um, and I was looking back and I know part of it too I know now thinking about it retro retroract or retrospectively is that um, if you guys see the video I'll be posting the videos on Youtube soon. Um, you'll see my tan. Ah last week and then you'll see my tan this week and it's like my tan's completely gone now. At this point I'm white as a ghost. Um, so I know that part of gaining you know part of my mindset was also that I was losing my tan because you know my wife mentioned a quote she saw in the past which was ah if if you can't tone it tan it. And it's the reality Tan Ten really does like add so much to the way you look so I am going to start tanning once I get paid again next month so I'll I'll get back into it and and consistently tan and all of that get a good base coat and you know get some tan in there because that sucked too like losing the tan because.

11:29.99

Paul

Your tan really does make you look you know a lot better and and it's not so much the tan the day of the show because it's super fucking dark it was like 1 of my favorite days for the tan was a couple days after when I flew up to Massachusetts like there was a couple of showers in a little bit of an exfoliant. And it was just like it was a nice coat. You know it was pretty even um, not super dark, not super light. It was nice. So like that that sucked watching it go away too. Um, but yeah, it just it's a lot and ah it's something to um, you know.

12:06.64

Paul

You got to deal with mentally because that's why like like when people say when guys say anabolics are addictive. It's not, you're you're not addicted to them while you're on it. You realize how much you want it when you're off it. You know I mean it's like ah it's like. When you're on it. You feel fine. You feel normal. This is how you normally feel and then you get off everything and it's like holy fuck I feel like shit I want to get back on and that's what's addictive about it same same with like you know prep in any phase you're in as far as the gym goes is that it's addictive until you're. You don't realize how addictive it is until you're done it and prep really was addictive. Um, afterwards after the fact because I was seeing fat come off every single day and you know the the thing that would fascinate me was every day every night when I go up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night I'd put my. My hand on my stomach and when I crunch to get up out of my bed I'd see I'd feel the difference every single night in how much fat was was there when I was due to like my crunch to get up and that was a super cool feeling. Um and like a sense of accomplishment where now that's going away. You know I feel more and more fat. Essentially there more more definition loss there every single night. Um, but what's helped is that I see guys who essentially like I look up to in the industry and see where they're at now versus when you know they were hitting a show or something.

13:37.83

Paul

And it made me feel a lot better. You know I've seen pros where you know they're not too too far out from a show like you know a few months six months maybe and they went from being peeled like just absolutely fucking diced on the pro stage to now having like no abs you know it's like it just it made me feel a little bit better because even the pros. Kind of going through the same thing that I am ah so that helped you know guys I compete against um, putting on size and losing their definition made me feel a bit better too. Um, because everybody puts on fat differently. So it's like yeah my abs are going away quicker. But then. Like comparison is a thief of joy. But one of the things that I am pretty happy about is that my arms my chest and my legs have held the definition really well and I could see that in the differences against other people that I've competed against is like okay where are they at now and I'm like okay I think based off where they were at. When they were at my stage my arms. My legs are a bit more defined but then they have better abs than I do so. It's like you know it's just the reality of the the game is that you you end up comparing contrasting with other people and seeing how other people go through the phases because what's so hard about it too. As far as comparison goes is that everybody's different and. You know I put on fat in a very different way than other people do and I mean everybody puts on fat differently than anybody else does. But for me, it's it's very different than anybody else and it's harder for me to like compare contrast because I can't be like oh this person is just like me so like this is.

15:09.52

Paul

What I would look like at this stage or whatever like because there's not really anybody I could really say that like puts on fat the same way I do or anything like that because it's like my like I'll have love handles you know and like lower belly fat. But then all of a sudden like I got a spider web of veins through my calves at ah, any given time. It's like it's just Weird. You know it's hard for me to find like something equivalent so that was hard as well and then just accepting that like even after multiple years of effort to step on Stage. We're still not quite where we want to be and still not at the stage of winning shows. But you know I've come to accept that more. But the thing that really got me through accepting putting on weight putting on size and fat and all of that was ah was a rich piano quote which I heard it backwards from yeah, that's all I needed. That's it Oh busted.

16:00.15

christophknoll

It's basically an 8 hour arm workout.

16:05.48

christophknoll

And this is a snack.

16:07.29

Paul

You know cookie on the way to the gym. This is a snack this doesn't count. This is a yummy snack that was it. That's all I needed. It's a 450 calorie cookie not counting. Um, so what? the quote was from rich was um, excuse me I'm sorry I'm just getting over a cold here. Um, the the quote from rich was I don't care who you are you leave your ego at the door right? and he goes I don't care if you're bigger or leaner than someone else. It doesn't make you better than who they are and I heard that backwards where it was.

16:38.81

christophknoll

Yeah, yeah.

16:43.98

Paul

Like that's True. Don't get me wrong that is 100% true. But for me I I applied it backwards where whenever I see someone bigger or leaner than me I'd be like what's the point. Why am I even trying you know like why am I even going through this if they look better than me and they're going to beat me on Stage. What's the point you know so it's like. Just because they're bigger or leaner than me doesn't necessarily mean one that they're better than me or anybody's better than anybody else or 2 doesn't mean that it negates any of the effort that I've put in myself you know because everybody has you know their own issues. They got to deal with and just Because. He might look bigger or leaner doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't have his own insecurities like I do or have his own doubts or anything like that you know so that's the way I heard that that line and it's like and he he also said we're all in this shit together like a motherfucking family and it's like. Like I'm very competitive but it is true like when when I'm on stage and when I'm at the show I'm here to beat you I'm here to beat you. There's no in-between like we're not friends I'll chat but we're not friends I'm I'm trying to beat you on stage. But then after the show we're in the gym. You know we're on that grind then I truly do see us as like essentially a family you know like we're all in this sport that we love that nobody else will ever understand and could never really Understand. We can't really explain it to anybody you just have to kind of get it. You know it's just like like that also resonated with me too is that.

18:18.77

Paul

It's like I'm so competitive even off stage. It's like hard for me to accept that hey I mean it's okay, if something's better than you or if it's okay, if you're better than them or or it's okay, if like they go to beat you on stage just and they put in less time and effort. It doesn't matter because at the end of the day it comes down to that. Effort that you put in and some people will have more talent in certain things and some people will will have better genetics but at the end of the day. It's it's what effort you put in and and you making the most of what cards you were dealt. Ah so that you know all of that kind of came flooding. To me like Tuesday Wednesday this week and that like that's when I became like okay with putting on size and okay with the program right now. So that was a lot that was a lot for me to ah to recognize and to accept you know it's it's a lot mentally.

19:09.50

christophknoll

So you can always tell when there's a rich p a quote because it's either super out of pocket or you're swearing in it. So even though it's like a real deep quote. It's yeah that the the Motherfu of heart. Yeah, that was you can always tell it's rich. Be.

19:17.96

Paul

We're all this shit together. Yeah, yeah, he was so ahead of his time It's so sad we lost him like he six seven years ago he was saying shit that like applies to guys today like we didn't understand it at the time but like we get it now you know what I mean it just it sucks. We lost him.

19:26.61

christophknoll

Um.

19:40.80

christophknoll

Yeah, yeah, and another thing too with the the whole seeing people larger or seeing people bigger part like if you're ever struggling with the mindset. We just have to look at the picture Jay Cutler from ah.

19:41.75

Paul

Rest in Peace Search piana.

19:56.48

christophknoll

Whenever that was then think about how he was feeling. Yeah I was going to say that that always helps and I know you talked about like how you never miss it until it's gone and um, like that's slow. The whole grass is greener mindset and um, like for me.

19:57.60

Paul

Ah, that helped me to yeah.

20:14.53

christophknoll

Coming off this injury like I was in bed for you know, a good week just because I had to keep my ankle elevated and whatnot and like yeah I still eat a ton but I can't eat as much if I'm not in the gym because like in the gym you expend all that energy and you want to eat more like your body just craves it. So I'm not eating as much and I mean it's still a lot but it's not as much and you are absolutely right? Like you miss that feeling even though in the moment you were like dreading it or you're hating it or like you're complaining your way through it like you would get text from me all the time about how.

20:46.11

Paul

Ah.

20:50.11

christophknoll

I hate eating this much like I love eating a ton but I hate eating this much and now that I'm on this opposite side of things I'm sitting here going man I wish I could have that because I know the strength level in the gym and how long I could work out in the gym like yesterday was my first actual leg day back from injury and um. I think I did a total of like 4 or 5 movements and just crashed and just couldn't do it anymore and like that's just because my food intake just isn't the same and I don't have that huge amount of energy and um, you're right? it's just missing it now that it's gone so but at the same time. When you miss it now that it's gone and now gives you motivation to come back into it whenever that period comes around like when you hit your prep in a year or so from whatever you're going to be so motivated and so disciplined to get into that that it's going to be even better than this past one and you have the knowledge from before which is you know invaluable in comparison to anything that somebody can tell you.

21:38.33

Paul

Her.

21:47.82

christophknoll

Because you know your body better than anybody else.

21:49.80

Paul

Yeah that's that's the other thing I've been holding on to is like I have to keep in mind you know we have to go through this It's not like I can just perpetually be in prep I can't just forever be in prep. It's not possible. It's like you have to go through these phases and you know book cutting is really at the end of the day like. The number one you know plan for anybody looking to compete or anybody really looking to get bigger muscular wise but also get loose fat. It's it's all about bulk cut. You can't really do like both the same time. So it's like bulking now after prep that was another thing I kept in mind was like. I'm going to put on size I'm gonna put on fat. But when I do start prep next next year I'm going to have way more knowledge on what to expect? We're gonna have way more knowledge of what to put my body through we're going to have way more knowledge on what my body responds to so. We're going to show up that much better and I could look so like my stage shot the morning of where I think I looked at my best was the morning of excalibber I could look the morning of excalibber like four weeks out you know what? I mean like that's what I'm holding onto is like I could look that much better way sooner. And then showing for the show like just absolutely fucking dice ideally is like kind of where like I was keeping my my mind and like at the same time It's like Jay Cutler and Lee Priest was also a couple of guys let's keep in mind too is that no matter how dice or lean they were on stage.

23:22.52

Paul

Offstage and offseason which is most of the time they were borderline fat like they were fucking massive dudes and that's what I was holding onto is like not necessarily that that's how my body responds to things but they had to dirty bulk in order to put on the size and. Was holding onto that like that photo j that you mentioned like that's exactly what I else was keep in mind is like like he he put his body through that and he put his mind through that so that when he starts to cut or prep for the olympia 6 twelve six new weeks out. Whatever it was. He had the size that he needed all he had to do is just trimm the fat back. Um, so I was keeping that mind and I was like kind of I'm kind of getting at this point like excited to kind of get a little buff ah versus like being a prep because like during prep I remember you remember you probably remember too like you tell me how much you're eating or what you're eating whatever and I'm like fuck I'm so jealous like.

24:16.57

christophknoll

Yep.

24:16.76

Paul

I wish we could have that and then all of a sudden afterwards I'm like I don't even want any of this shit I just want my my definition back I want to go back to the stage and all of that. But it's ah it's there's ah, there's got to be a quote for it. But it's like you you you really only ever sometimes you just. Want what you can't have you know what I mean and it's that's this reality too. It's like sometimes you just want what you lost you know and it's it's hard. It's hard but mentally, you'll get through it and you end up on the other side and then you'll get motivated so now I motivated to put on the size and put on the strength and all of that and the gym has been a lot more fun now. Food's been a lot more enjoyable. Um life in general is way better. Mentally I'm just way better place mentally than I was before and quality of life is in a lot better place too. So um, all of that adds to it to to try to keep him motivated like I was emotionally dead. For like three months straight there and I didn't realize it until I had that 5 guys meal the night before the show and all of my emotions came rushing back. It was like a waterfall. It was just like everything that was pent up over the past three months just came flowing out of me and. Like that's the other thing I keep in mind too is that like I'm no longer emotionally just drained all the time I have all the emotions I need I have you know the happiness you know this the the bad side like the sadness and stuff like that that I'm supposed to have and I have like the dopamine and all of that as well. So it's like I'm a much better place mentally then.

25:48.80

Paul

I was during prep you know what? I mean I put it back in. Um I'll take it out for prep if that's what it calls for. But if we're in the off Seasonson and we're not prepping for a show and putting it back in. It's basically like an antidepressant. Essentially it's like.

25:48.38

christophknoll

I was going to say did coach put adderall back in.

26:06.22

Paul

You're basically asking me to be depressed and it's like I'll do that going into a show to to hit the show better. But when we're not trying to lose fat or keep off fat as much as possible I'm not going to do that I'm not going to put my mind through that or keep put my mind through that because then.

26:06.49

christophknoll

Yeah.

26:23.30

Paul

Like if you think about it. It's like Okay, yeah, we're trying to keep off fat right now but put on muscle but also when are we not doing that you know like when when would I add it back in there really is no point to be like yeah now is the time to add it back In. Let's put on some fat. You know I mean's there's no time like that I'm just going to put it back in because my mind needs it and being back at Home. You know last week I was on it to couldn't really tell the difference to too much because I wasn't in my element I wasn't on my routine. You know I wasn't at home nothing like that. So like my mind was kind of all over the place. But now that I'm back home and on a routine working from my normal desk you know heading the gym my normal times all of that and taking my adderall to time's supposed to take it My quality of life is so so much better I Enjoy life just in general now enjoy doing things. So. Um, it really does make a big big difference in my life.

27:20.54

christophknoll

I Think another thing too like you're obviously in the side of things where you like creating content and like you have your socials and you post like either Physique updates or especially on like your snapchat. You'll give different rants on like things that can be improved in the gym world and whatnot.

27:30.25

Paul

Are yeah.

27:39.24

christophknoll

And 1 of the things like when we see that picture of Jay when he was in that extreme I mean I put extreme obesity like that's that's where it got to yeah and he was a big content creator too. But we never see any videos of him creating content in that size.

27:48.71

Paul

Um, he was huge. Yeah.

27:58.60

christophknoll

So when you go into this next period like that's even like obviously I don't think either of us will ever do better than what Jay did but I'm saying like you have the opportunity to like embrace it and still produce that kind of content while having that physique change and you're.

27:59.61

Paul

Um.

28:17.84

christophknoll

In a different mindset like I'm willing to bet that during that time when he was in that size. He wouldn't make content one because he didn't want people seeing him like that 2 He probably didn't like seeing himself like that either. But you have this opportunity to have you know people still see the physique and you can embrace it and just allow yourselves to still make content while. Like like and ah building more size on and losing definition and just being very open and transparent about it.

28:44.82

Paul

Um, yeah I think like you got you make a good point there because it is true like it's so hard to find like like everybody a lot of guys that I know a lot of guys that I follow they they repost a lot of their stage shots and their prep shots and shit like that because that's.

28:56.16

christophknoll

Okay.

29:02.18

Paul

Where they feel they look their best but like if you think about it in Jay's perspective like there wasn't really any social media then there wasn't really like you know, cell phone cameras or nothing like that. So like the occasional photo like that photo of him was taken definitely from like some sort of like either digital camera or like disposable camera or something like that like it was like something that they had to like. Like so do on purpose right? It's not like I just could whip on my phone to take it like they had to grab the camera turn it on turn it to flash stuff like that like they had to take a second to actually do it. Um and and on top of that a lot of videos and stuff like that of Jay from that time were from professional cameramen.

29:22.48

christophknoll

Yeah, like.

29:40.30

Paul

And professional magazines and all of that and they don't want to record him when he's looking like that they want to record him when he's as close a show as possible when he's looking his best. Um, so yeah, he was able to hide it a bit more and today guys hide it. There's so many ways guys hide it now. Um, you know guys will wear pants even in the summer they'll wear pants to the gym go to an Acd gym so they could wear pants a lot of them wear wear hoodies or just a big thing that um, you'll start to notice too is you'll have 2 different guys i'm. On the side of what kind of Jay had in mind was like he always lifted with the least amount of clothes possible so that he could see you know the muscles working and what he's working on and all of that and I truly believe in that like I want to be able to. Like even with arms like I'm wearing a stringer or something like that even on arms when it doesn't really make much of a difference if we're a t-shirt for or a stringer for arms I'm in the mirror flexing you know, posing stuff like that watching the muscles work but then you'll have guys where they wear pants for a leg day. Or like they're wear a t-shirt on chess day stuff like that because they feel more so that they need to hide you know their bulking side or hide the lack of definition when they're not you know in prep and someone who does that is Sean Claririta um you know the giant killer he.

31:08.43

Paul

Is in sweat short sweatshirt and sweatpants pretty much every single time he fucking trains nobody actually knows what he looks like until like he basically steps on stage. Um, which I can understand from his point of view because he's trying to beat the bigger guys and he doesn't want anybody to be able to like try to beat him. But. When you're talking about guys who aren't pro yet or guys who are just pro and not going for the olympia stage stuff like that they hide a lot of the definition just because of insecurities and all of that and it's hard because it's like they keep reposting all their stage shit. You know all their when they look their best but it's like dude you don't look like that most the time most of the time. Nine months out a year you look like what you do now you know what I mean when they're wearing shirt and sweat pants at the gym. It's like that this is how you look most of the time why not show that too. You know so like that's my thing too is like now that you mentioned it I will keep posting you know as as I put on size and all of that and um. Put on fat and everything because most of the time I will have fat on me more so than way more so than prep so got to keep that side going at least just to be transparent and show the reality of what bodybuilding really is.

32:16.50

christophknoll

Yeah, and I think that's kind of like what gives you a leg up mentally at least and like that's why I preface like neither of us will ever probably attain what he did physically but mentally you probably have the leg up in that situation. Um, and you know as time progresses and you get more. Like advanced and deeper into career. There is probably going to be the the opportunities of other photographers coming in or video videographers coming in and doing work with you like in like your peak form and then for the whole off season. Your cameraman is yourself because they won't even touch you.

32:47.98

Paul

Yeah, yeah, I'd be that'd be great I'd be great if people wanted to to photograph her video video me or something like that'd be great, but my dream one of my dreams is to be on a like Flex magazine or like muscle muscle and fitness or something like to be the cover one day.

33:02.28

christophknoll

I.

33:05.86

Paul

Ah, sort of my dreams. It's It's a stupid dream now because not many people read magazines but I grew up.

33:07.76

christophknoll

I was going to say magazines in like 10 years from now. Well I'll be surprised if people even know what they are.

33:13.18

Paul

Yeah I grew up reading like or like seeing those in the bathroom myself like that at home like because that's what my dad would read before like you know before there was like digital books and stuff like that he would read those magazines. You know when he was going to the bathroom. So it's like I've always kind of associated like.

33:28.40

christophknoll

Yep.

33:32.62

Paul

You really made it if you're on one those magazines and that was a big goal for a lot of guys back in the day like Jay you know Dorian Yates you know Lee Priest Ro Coleman all those guys like they had a goal of being on those magazine covers. Um so I mean I would love to be on one one day that'd be great.

33:47.74

christophknoll

Well, that was also the primary form of of basically social media So nowadays it's more like becoming like a ah I know it gets oversaturated and kind of cliched. But now it's kind of like being a cover athlete or a like.

33:49.23

Paul

Yeah, yeah.

34:03.57

christophknoll

Brand ambassador like ah like a head 1 is that's kind of like the new magazine is just in terms of viewership and getting your own image and brand out there like I mean I know we talk about redcon all the time but like getting like like cbum is with um.

34:08.21

Paul

Yeah, yeah.

34:21.13

christophknoll

Ah, no, it's not risey. Yeah, it is Rise Raw That's what it raw? Yeah, but that's my point like you you get like brand deals now and that's kind of where the like there were brand deals before but that wasn't where the publicity was you know what? I mean.

34:21.25

Paul

Is Raw Nos raw he but he does own part of it. He is one of the 3 owners now he bought ownership in it. Yeah. Right.

34:39.66

christophknoll

Like you would just do it to kind of increase your portfolio and have a bigger business side of things but now that's actually shifted to like where the actual publicity is because like the amount of people who know bodybuilder names just based off of products that they see on the shelves is probably a lot higher than it was way back when like in.

34:46.47

Paul

Remember.

34:59.11

christophknoll

Like you know 90 s when the magazine was the big thing so that'll be yeah I mean of course if if you make the magazine that's great, but the the future is probably shifting to with it as we progress.

35:12.17

Paul

yeah yeah I mean the the big thing right now. Everybody's trying to do I mean it's sort. It's more so slowed down in the past few years is everybody's trying to get sponsored and and but and like endorsed and all of that the thing is is when you have. Like the true money behind fitness and all of that is social media now is less so competing it used to be about competing used to be whoever was best on stage and that's who got all the attention. Um now. So it's more so social media and there's a lot of pressure on guys who. Look a certain way. It's like that's why like David Lade has looked the same for the past like fucking 6 years because he has this look. He has his brand. You know his brand image and that's his physique so you have to look. He basically looks the same because that's what built up his fame. So why change that? um, there's not many guys who. Built up a platform based off their look and then changed their look. There have been a few. Um, there's one off I can't remember that as one of the guys who used to train in Jersey I think with David late I I forget Connor there's a Derek or I forget. Forget he's a client of someone's I might have been Terence Roughffins at one point I forget anyways, the point is um when you have an a bright image as your physique and people know you buy that physique you're not going to want to change it and that's another problem social media. It's a lot of pressure to keep that going and.

36:43.71

Paul

Even in bodybuilding I don't have many followers at all on Instagram I got a little over a hundred That's not a lot as a fucking nothing but I always feel that I want to post what I look the best. Um and I don't want to backtrack it all. But. That's also part of like what I've been trying to post as as well as that like you're goingnna put on size and you're gonna game size and all of that and I just can't stand it when guys will post stage shots. You know 10 times over 6 months. It's like dude you hit the shit. Six months ago like you'd nowhere near this level of conditioning and on top of that you've gained £5 of muscle since then like you're completely different size like why not post where you're at now you know embrace the bulk embrace the the gaining of fat because that's what your body needs your body needs that in order to put on the size and. Like that's the other thing too is like when you're it's it's a harder problem coming off a book than it is coming off a prep but it's enjoyable to see the strength going up. You know it's enjoyable for me to see my energy levels going up like I'm destroying my logbook this week. Ah, just fucking mutilated it. It was it's night and day my my strength levels and it's like on top of just adding weight. It's also like the reps just keep coming. You know they they don't stop. You know I'll be lifting like like the same weight for instance, where before I fail the 10.

38:15.92

Paul

I'll hit 10 and I'm like damn this is heavy. But then I get like 4 more like no problem. You know it just keeps coming coming off a bulk that's very difficult to deal with because your strength goes away all all the weight you've built up as far as lifting goes.

38:19.14

christophknoll

Oh.

38:32.91

Paul

Goes away when you start prep and when you start to cut so like that's difficult in that aspect where you know you're benching. Let's say like you know, two seventy five or something for 8 and then all of a sudden you know four weeks into prep you're like. Barely doing 2 25 for 8 and it's like I just I was destroying this before like this is my warmup before what the fuck's going on and you know that's hard to deal with on the opposite end. Ah, that's one of the harder mental battles when you're doing that and then also on top of that when you go from a. I mean ideally you don't cold turkey anything. But when you're going from a bulk to a cut or prep. It takes a couple of weeks to kind of transition but when you're transition you're like man I really just took being you know, eating a lot of food for granted and I know that that's going to be a reality for you stuff when you go to do your cut. One day. It's you're gonna be like fuck I took that for granted I'm like yeah welcome to the game bro, you're gonna be hungry all the time and chewy is in prep now for his nationals in December and he's two weeks and he said something about being hungry and I'm like I did his perpetual hungerness like you're just you're always hungry. There's never.

39:29.42

christophknoll

Um.

39:42.32

Paul

Your body always wants food like there's never like when you're buking and you're forced feeding and stuff like there's times where you just don't want to even look at food or think about food. You're going to throw the fuck up. You know if you have like a good cheat meal like that sun the day after my show I Just even want to think about food I had so much fucking food I was like I don't want to think about it I don't want to look at it. Nothing.

39:50.50

christophknoll

Um.

40:01.66

Paul

Ah, when you're in private you're in a cut and you're Hungry. It's the opposite. All you do is think about food because you always want food. You're like fuck I take it for granted how much I was eating before and how much energy I had and how much little food I wanted. You know if you're eating enough where you have to force Feet. You don't want anything bus sides. What's on your plan because you have to forcefe it. You know. So It's all just a mental game. That's all it is.

40:23.38

christophknoll

Yeah, and I think you also mentioned really good point about the social media like the the mental battle that comes with that because like that's where the publicity is and focusing on you know, making sure you produce content that people want to see so not ever posting bulk stuff or. The point that I'm going to make is people who just never like you mentioned people who never change their physique but there's people who like yearround like I mean this is one of the things that probably took out Joe athetics because he stayed that crazy lean year round and that's just not possible like he was probably what like three four percent

40:55.24

Paul

Yeah, yeah.

41:02.67

christophknoll

Body fat the entire year like he had permanent striations permanent I mean I know his his Alien gains thing is because of the electrolyte deficiency but like the the being able to do that like you can't you You can't do that if you have bulk size on you know what? I mean.

41:03.27

Paul

Er.

41:19.81

Paul

O.

41:21.87

christophknoll

So and then like the guys like I mean I know you don't like youbanks um ubanks stays his side. He's been in his size like I've never seen him in anything but that like you know what? I mean it's like this perfect physique. Yeah, and then um Noel diesel like he's.

41:36.24

Paul

He's looked the same. Yeah.

41:41.81

christophknoll

This massive bodybuilder. He's got so much size and I've never seen him bigger or smaller like it's like there's just these guys who because of the publicity and the image they've created like they they must mentally feel like they can't change and that's got to be grueling in itself.

41:57.88

Paul

I think for Noel I think he's the only one that kind of is a little separate because his content. Yes, it it did kind of rely on him being big but it wasn't because of him being big. It was the message that he was portraying. A lot of time when there was videos of him when he got was getting big and it was all those like tiktoks and Youtube shorts and shit that he's putting out. He was wearing a stringer and it was like shoulders up, you know so like you could tell he was big and then also I think at the same time he doesn't need to change his physique too much because he's also not competing anymore. I think he was at 1 point competing and especially at his size There's no point of being that big if you're not competing. Ah so I think he's done competing and that's also why he hasn't really changed too much and like Jay Cutler is kind of the same place like he's kind of stayed the same over the past like decade and he's just been trying not I think he's just kind of trying to hold on to as much muscle and. Keep off as much fat as possible over the past you know decade just to maintain at his age. Ah, but he still looks phenomenal for his age j does at least? Um, so yeah, yeah, he looks great. He still has abs all that he's still fucking huge so like.

42:56.27

christophknoll

He could clean the floor with like most young guys.

43:06.37

Paul

That's part of it for them at least is just ah maintaining because they've gotten to the point where they're kind of. We're at their peak so they're like all right? Let's just kind of like stay here as much as we can and that's my goal too is like when I go to retire one day from bodybuilding. My goal isn't to just lose all my size ideally like I want to be able to hold onto as much as I can like I'll still train I'll still eat all of that. Um I just won't compete anymore. You know I won't pull my body through that so it'll still be excuse me.

43:34.82

Paul

Um, it'll still be part of who I am so be part of my lifestyle but I just won't put my body through prep or anything anymore when I do retire from competing one day. So I think that's kind of where Noel is at he's kind of like let's just try to hold onto this as long as I possibly can and once it gets to the point where I have to like. I'm getting diminishing returns and how much effort I put in just to maintain it then I'll start accepting that there's some loss there and Dorian Yates kind of had to go through that where he was so massive and then now he's like an almost like a normal guy basically like he's still in great shape for his age. But if you like I wouldn't. Necessarily believe you if you told me he was one of the best olympians of all time looking at his physique now. It's just because of his age. Um and he had to kind of accept like right after he retired you like he kind of lost like all of his size because he was just done. You know he was done doing it and he had to he was talking about that I think on the jorogan podcast where he just kind of like accepted it and was just like. The reality of the situation. You know I push my body hard enough as it is. It's now time to just focus on just living longevity and living for my family and I think that's also gonna be another motivator too that the road is that um I don't want to like have to put myself through so much shit. And lose years off my life if I don't get to watch my grandkids you know, get married or anything like that you know mean like I want to be able to be there for that. So longevity is also a goal of mine. That's why this isn't forever. And yeah, so that's that's kind of just adding onto the mental side of things as far as.

44:58.90

christophknoll

Yeah.

45:07.18

Paul

Mindset behind competing and all of that.

45:07.80

christophknoll

Yeah, and then I mean there's also the added mindset to an added pressure for anybody who makes it you know olympia big and doesn't you know, cold turkey and leave the the game right away like for the guest appearances that happen because like if someone pays you.

45:23.30

Paul

Oh yeah.

45:26.98

christophknoll

Like ten fifteen thousand dollars to come to a gus appearance even if it's offseason you have to bring in something that people will actually like enjoy seeing like if if Jay for example, brought in that the the pit the the physique of him in that picture. He would have been like they would have get taken the money back. They would not have paid $10000 for that.

45:42.84

Paul

I would have loved to see that I want to see fucking Massive j.

45:46.48

christophknoll

No I and I agree I agree but I think in the moment nobody would want to would have wanted to see that you know what I mean? Yeah, like if it's a fitness convention and they're bringing in because.

45:52.22

Paul

Yeah, they want to see Lean J They want us put see Olympia J yeah.

46:02.90

christophknoll

Jay also was super involved with his with his brands like even when he was competing so like if it was like some kind of function where his brand is making a big like either sponsorship or some kind of like appearance at this event he needs to bring in some kind of a package that is representative of that brand and.

46:05.12

Paul

Yeah, yeah.

46:21.80

christophknoll

That applies for anybody who gets these guest appearances like um I'm blanking on the guy's name but it was ah at Jay's birthday this past month or two months ago and he came in and did that guest posing with alongside Jay um I don't know if you saw this video but there was a.

46:35.63

Paul

I Had to look it up.

46:40.70

christophknoll

Was one of the guys from generation iron um I'm blanking on his name. Real bad though, but he he brought in like you know you can tell he was in Offeason form but he still had a great package that he brought and he you know was up on stage and um'm.

46:52.16

Paul

Um, there was Phil Heath and Regan Grimes at a yeah this is yeah so this guy posted about it. Yeah so recon grimes. Yeah, that's fucking sick.

46:58.73

christophknoll

Regan Grimes that's who I was talking about. Yeah.

47:07.16

christophknoll

Yeah, but so my point being yeah and my point being is that he isn't in like Olympia form right now. Um, and he's clearly in off season and form like you can tell he still looks great, but he's not like you know peak physique or anything like that.

47:09.16

Paul

I would have killed for that.

47:21.41

Paul

Right.

47:24.18

christophknoll

But you have to bring in some kind of a good look if you're doing these guest things and that added pressure mentally must be you know overwhelming because you're like I just want to have a bulk and I just want to you know, get off of this and start performing better in the gym because with a bulk you perform better in the gym. And like just wanting to do that but can't do it because of these added pressures.

47:47.80

Paul

Yeah I mean the other thing too is there's very few guys whose bodies agree with a dirty volk like that Jay was the exception. That's why he spent so much money as he did on food and. That's been. You know, still going viral to this day where he spent 50 he came out and he said he spent 50 grade a year on food and a big reason of that is because he was getting fast food like literally Mcdonald's like every other day. Um and just a fucking gigantic meal because when you're bulking. Like I can attest to this first hand when you're bulking and you eat more food. This is just reality is that your your stomach stretches out right? Your stomach stretches out so that it can take in more food. That's why I tell you it sucks the force feed but the more you force feed the less you have to force feed later. Um. Because your stomach will stretch right? It's going to stretch is going to adapt to the food that you have to take in and you're going to get used to it so in prep your stomach shrinks because you have such a little amount of food. Your body gets used to that and therefore allows less food to be more filling. So for Jay when he was in his peak bulk. When he's getting these Mcdonald's cheat meals. He'd load up on tons of fucking food because his his stomach can hold it. You know his body can hold it and utilize it. So like that was a big part of like what his money was spent on for food was just simply mcdonald's.

49:17.89

Paul

Or something like that you know cheat cheat wheels. Um, so to add even more to what you were saying guest posing. Yeah that's that's you got a good point there there were there a lot of bodybuilders do because they're especially men's open guys a lot of their. Ah. Muscle bellies are so large even if they put on a lot of so a lot of fat. They still look lean. Eddie Hall is kind of an example of that with his abs. His abol is just so fucking massive even with all the fat that he has he still has abs. It's not.

49:54.17

christophknoll

Well Eddie Eddie Hall is making an o appearance this year we all know that yeah his content is so funny though I I die every time.

49:56.88

Paul

Dad Eddie Hall has really gone downhill. Let's just say that. Um, but yeah, he. He does make some comedic posts I did see this so this this Instagram I follow Monday iron I've been following since like he was like a thousand followers like I've been following for a long time. He posted about how um so like Jay went and saw like did you see that like Brian Shaw wax figure thing.

50:25.88

christophknoll

I did and and Eddie Hall pulled down the pants and.

50:28.98

Paul

So yeah I think so Monday ion makes some memes but then he also has like a weekly video where he talks about it's one. It's 1 guy. He's somewhere around our age. He he makes a weekly video about um, like current stuff going on in the industry. It's like 15 minutes long and it's a newsletter too. So like he has like this newsletter this weekly newsletter and he had a weekly newsletter where he talked about how he posted that photo. It was like a video but he screenshoted it and it was like Eddie was pointing at the crotch of. Um, Brian Shaw because there's nothing there. You know it's a wax figurine. They don't put junk on it and he made a meme about it. Yes, dude and you know who it was Eddie he fucking reported it I'm like dude calm down like Eddie what the fuck.

51:06.71

christophknoll

Did it get flagged for pornography.

51:21.60

Paul

You took. You're the one who did it and you posted it too. Why you flagging him for it. So I'm just like that's fucking stupid. But anyways, um, ah so when these guys do guest poses um hunter labradas one that does a lot of guest posing a lot of people want Hunter Lebrada to do guest posing um big rammi does a lot of guest posing.

51:26.37

christophknoll

Um, yeah.

51:40.92

Paul

Few different bodybuilders that do a lot of guest posing and they charge out the fucking ass for it too. I think I think the rumor was like 10 grand or something for Hunter Labrada to do guest posing and I'm sure that he also requires them to pay for like expenses to like if you want me to guest pose at.

51:54.23

christophknoll

Yeah, like lodging. Yeah.

51:58.56

Paul

Yeah, yeah, if you want me to fly out to fucking California to do posing for you like pay for my flight. My hotel I'll pay for my food. It's part of my plan. Anyways I'll pay for my food but like at least pay for like me coming out there because you want me to come out there. You know like I think that's kind of part of it and then also like actually stepping on the stage. Um, I think so I think they paid him like 10 grand and I don't know but whatever. Anyways, he stepped on the stage and like he still looked like even on the in the off season he still looks pretty lean. Hunton Lebrot is pretty good at keeping his definition in check. So he still looks lean on stage. There was an issue where one of the guest poses. He did. When you when you get this tan. You don't want to sweat or anything you don't want any water touching it. It'll it'll ah leak like it like the the 10 literally comes off and he started sweating and it started dripping so people were like what's going on what's happening like why is he like literally melting like what's happening is there something to to do with steroids blah blah blah.

52:38.91

christophknoll

Yeah.

52:50.56

Paul

Big strength of power is like dude. It's really just tanning spray like he posted a video. He's like it's just tenning spray it happens he just they put on a coat that morning and he just was sweating when he used to imposing that's it.

52:54.98

christophknoll

If you. If you ever want a really really good example of what bleeding like the the tan bleeding looks like look up the pictures of Rudy Giuliani his his tan dye coming out of his head.

53:15.19

Paul

When you stay.

53:16.76

christophknoll

Ah, that's the best example I can think of that it literally looks like a yeah.

53:20.32

Paul

Yeah, exactly yeah, it literally drips. Yeah and it comes off That's dude that's fucking gross. That example is gross. Yeah, yeah.

53:28.28

christophknoll

Yeah, because that's it's it's in his hair and that's what's coming out but that's that's the most like blatant exaggerated example, you can give that's that's kind of my point.

53:40.00

Paul

Yeah, exactly. Um, yeah, so it just I don't know I the number mindset behind that too can play a role. You got a point there I didn't think about that. But um, yeah, big rammi puts on some sides puts on so fat and he fucking looks mass. Yeah, and the oss season.

53:54.27

christophknoll

Like no big Rami brings a big package to the O and that's what kills him half the time. Yeah, there's there's a reason his name's big rami like big like it.

53:59.32

Paul

Yeah, he just doesn't come in to find his his problem. He comes in too big. It's like dude.

54:10.55

christophknoll

For for a reason like he's coming in big regardless of whether it's looking good or not.

54:14.30

Paul

Yeah, exactly yes, he like looking at his fucking guest posing. He looks massive but I mean also that's his thing Matt like I can't even imagine what that's like like being a like being called like your your nickname is big, whatever because you're just that massive.

54:19.71

christophknoll

Oh yeah.

54:32.21

christophknoll

Yeah.

54:33.96

Paul

And then you gotta see like an actual like proopen bodybuilder because they are people don't realize how fucking massive these guys are they're ginormous. Um, there's a guy who competed at Texas Pro is his first. Was it his first pro show I think or like his first show in a couple of years because he was putting on size for a while and he came back and he got fifth and then his first pro show back which is pretty sick. That's a pretty good plasing for his first show back or leasts his first pro show I don't know is something special and I saw him at the. Ah. Seminar with um with ah what's his name. Oh my gosh. Why am I blunt dryan blank on it Steve Steve Wein Weinberger what yeah yeah, Steve Weinberger so at that seminar he was doing the.

55:18.53

christophknoll

That's the one you went to like six months ago right yeah weinberger you got it.

55:28.19

Paul

Men's him and 1 other guy would do the men's open posing and this dude was fucking massive. He got fifth. Yeah, like like I didn't realize how big men's open dudes are until that. So it's like to be called big Rami and to be known as big among.

55:33.70

christophknoll

Um, I'm um, you texted me about that.

55:45.44

christophknoll

You yeah.

55:46.98

Paul

The men's open competitors I want to see him in person because he's got to be fucking enormous like that's ludicrous because this guy got fifth and lost. You know, obviously so like to think that there's guys who look big against him. It just blows my fucking mind but literally though and like did you see that photo I posted of ah of um James Hollingshead when he was 18 I think we talked about that last week maybe I'm not sure but I don't know if you saw I shared it. Okay, so.

56:05.36

christophknoll

His legs are the size of our torso.

56:20.19

christophknoll

Ah, yeah, off the top my head I don't remember but.

56:23.68

Paul

James Hollingshead posted a photo when he was we did talk about it I remember mentioning this when he was 18 and he was fucking massive for an 18 year old like like literally like me like in prep like if I got to like went back to prep and took a similar photo to him we would look very similar and he's 7 years younger than me in that photo. Like that's how you know a dude's meant for men's open when they can get fucking massive at 1718 years old and just do nothing but put on muscle. That's how you know you're meant for it. Um, that's why I gave up a men's open I'm like I'm just not built for it I just don't put on muscle like crazy. But yeah, so.

56:48.23

christophknoll

Oh yeah.

57:01.11

Paul

Mentally there's a lot of pressure and really what I wanted to just talk about today was just like how to get through it and how to transition mentally from one face to the next because there are multiple phases you kind of go through and for those involved with Anabolics Pct is interesting because. Pct you you feel normal your libidos through the fucking roof. Um, you feel normal for the most part. But then when you come off you feel like shit and like that's hard mentally to accept you feel slogggish you you just have no energy for shit. Whatever. And you're just gaining fat. You're not making any progress in the gym. You're just maintaining for the most part. So like when I do come off everything for however, long, we're doing that. Um, we're gonna it's gonna be like a maintenance phase you know like where we just try to maintain as much as possible. Don't put on muscle don't put on. Fat nothing just just keep it the same just clean out guess the blood work stuff like that then get into a blast and put on some size which timing wise is actually going to be fucking sick because the holidays is when I'll be starting all that you know so like I'll be able to really probably enjoy the holidays.

58:11.90

christophknoll

Yeah.

58:13.13

Paul

Like Thanksgiving I'll probably be able to have whatever I want during Thanksgiving Christmas same thing so that's gonna be sick. Um, and then I'll still be able to bulk through like winter and then I'll start my prep and look good for summer which is gonna be sick so like timing wise I prefer. This type of timing versus any other I don't want to be bulking through summer ideally, most shows take place during the spring summer and like beginning of fall anyways, so it's not like most guys bulk through the summer for the most part. Anyways, if you're competing that is um so I want to look good for the summer so this timing.

58:46.93

christophknoll

I was going to say that's that's the mental side of thing where you know in this summer you want to look your best because most of us during the summer have our shirts off like.

58:50.25

Paul

Um, make sense. Yeah, yeah, there are there are times where guys would be like they'll talk about how bulk into the summer sucks like I have to do it but it sucks because I never want to take off my shirt but. Is what I got to do to to compete. You know if they they got to put zi on for two months or 2 years or something you know during the summer they might do like a recompmp you know some guys will do like a recomp like you know 8 to twelve weeks where it's not like a prep but they do a cut so that they can trim the fat down and then put more size on.

59:09.77

christophknoll

Um, yeah.

59:27.48

Paul

But that's about it. That's the extent of it and some guys just really struggle getting through summer because of that you know it's hard for a lot of guys. But that's the name of the game. You know.

59:38.67

christophknoll

Yep, and you know just staying Afloat That's all it is like that's why having that good support system and not comparing like the ego like that's huge like not comparing because everybody's going through the different phases like that's just a big thing to keep in mind.

59:42.77

Paul

Yeah.

59:54.48

Paul

Yeah, exactly exactly. Um, it's comparisons a thief with joy and you just got to be proud of where you're at and respect yourself and be proud of what you've accomplished in the past and not let anybody else's physique or where they're at diminish where you're at because. You know you might be comparing yourself to a guy who's got 10 years on you. You know I lost my show to a guy who's got 13 years on me and I'll be dimmed if I'm not fucking pro and destroying competition by the time I'm his age. You know what I mean like you know so you just got to you gotta be proud of where you're at in most the.

01:00:23.65

christophknoll

Yeah.

01:00:30.86

Paul

Most likely you got plenty a time almost anybody's got plenty a time to get to where they want to go so you just gotta embrace that and you know if you need to shift your mind to accept something like I had to then you'll get through it. You just gotta find that thing that clicks and for me it was that 1 quote from rich you just for some reason to just. Fucking clicked and that's all I needed but we all need something and that's what it was for me keep pushing.

01:00:51.40

christophknoll

Yep.

01:00:56.22

christophknoll

Hell you man guys. We're gonna wrap this one up here we got ah we're gonna be doing more episodes like this but you'll be here and from us in the future pace.

01:01:08.61

Paul

Yep, Thanks Yes, for listening. We'll see you later.


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